letting go

I am a controlling mother.  shoot, I mean, really I am.  I never thought I was destined for such a personality trait, I've always been totally relaxed and chill but parenting has turned me into a bit of a control freak.  I have serious issues with messes, things getting dirty or ruined, toys getting broken etc., you get the point.

Well, I've been realizing that I need to start letting go of a little bit of that, Kyle said it like this, "You're going to turn her childhood into an adulthood as a little person."  And he's right.  Kids should be allowed to make stupid mistakes so that they can learn from them, laugh from them, have stories that they love and remember - blah blah blah.

Okay, okay, I need to be better, this is what I've been telling myself all week aaaand then this happened:

I was AGHAST.

While at a play date, she and her friend decided to cut each other's hair.  Later I found out that she had told her friend that she wanted short hair (which she's sort of been telling me for a few months) so they took it into their own hands... I guess I'll take her more seriously next time.

Anyway, I think I just stood there staring at her for like EVER, and thinking, 'Why would she do this?  She had the most beautiful hair! Why would she just SHEER it off like this????' We came home, she went to bed (because you just don't cut your own hair) and I ran off to my room to sob like a baby into my pillow.  It wasn't so much that she had cut her gorgeous hair, the kind of hair that I've wanted my entire life, it was more that I sort of saw that hair as my connection to her babyhood, and now it was just gone, just like that. What a lesson in letting go, eh?  The great news is that she loves it, she calls us "twinners" and only in a playful pretending voice will say "My beautiful hair - AHHHHHH!" And you know I'm really proud of her for that.  I can remember a few hairstyles/cuts that I flipped out about as a kid and I'm really impressed that she's just happy no matter what, way to go girl.

 We went and got it fixed by my good friend Jessica this morning and she looks crazy cute.  This curly hair is going to take some figuring out with it short, but I feel like I've got a little French girl in our house and it suits her.  Oh man, this girl of mine is a wild one, and I seriously love her.